I read an article in this mornings paper about the effects of our parents' deaths and the material "stuff" that gets left behind and it reminded me of my own situation. My Parents' Parents had all passed away and they inherited much of their "stuff" and in return, my own Parents passed away leaving me with my Grandparents "stuff" in addition to their "stuff".
When the author of the article mentioned how overwhelming the "stuff" can become, I could relate to that on so many levels. Granted, my Parents got rid of a lot of "stuff" prior to their deaths, but were collectors of antiques. My Mom collected Hall China, she had six china cabinets packed full of china, three bookshelves and then there was the miscellaneous "stuff" from "Jewel-T" which distributed Hall China from horse and buggy long ago. Everything from cooking utensils, rugs, mops, wall hangings of advertisements and items picked up at Hall China conventions.
Just the china itself was overwhelming. One auction alone held all the Hall China, then throw in Dad's dozen tubs of Life Magazines from its inception through World War II that nobody wants and his studio of electronics (Dad loved electronics) and I end up with boxes full of just the cords alone and have no idea what piece of video equipment goes to what cords. There was a TV in almost every room of their house, it was ridiculous.
I called a local auction house and they came and picked up all the china in addition to other antiques including Dad's coin collection. All in all there were three auctions. Another auction company refused to come get the rest of the unwanted items so the day prior to having to be out of their house after it was sold, there was a rummage sale up the street so I just started throwing things out in the yard and what was left from that went in the trash or I gave it away to customers and goodwill.
I hung on to what was left that my brother didn't want and what was left were two storage units, a garage and attic full of "STUFF". I divorced shortly thereafter and found an apartment with a "Big" basement and left some of the "stuff" behind, planning on picking it up at a later date. I had one small rummage sale after having moved that didn't make much of a dent at all.
Last spring (2008) there was a flood at my marital home (still on the market if anyone is interested) and I lost all my Tupperware, my Grandmother's antique pump organ and some other "stuff". The flood took care of some "stuff", making it just a tad less overwhelming but then in the summer, the sewer in the basement of my apartment backed up, flooding the basement that held the remaining "stuff" of my Parents', with 8 inches of sewage. I lost photo albums, antique record albums, several boxes of the Life Magazines (thank goodness), a couple of computers and it damaged some of their oak furniture that I didn't have room for upstairs that they had just had refinished prior to my Mother's demise in 2003 (Dad followed in 2005).
Because the "Stuff" was so overwhelming, I was not bent up over it much. I had a bonfire at my daughters for the damaged "stuff" that would burn and boxes and boxes of paperwork (some of it 50 years old, dad saved everything). I figured it was Gods way of saying "hey, you've hung onto this "stuff" and not done anything about it for too long so I'm taking care of it for you". Of course it only helped a little. Some stuff, I have no idea what happened to. Some, I have no idea what to do with, for example; what do you do with torpedo shell used for practice in WWII? But I can't part with it.
I moved again and in the process, I gathered what was left at the river house, obtained yet another storage unit and have a basement full of furniture and "stuff" at my new house. Out of the kindness of my heart I left my x-husband with some of it but mostly because he whined; he felt like he deserved it for having helped take care of my Dad. He even felt like he deserved the antique clock that belonged to my Grandmother because he fixed it, go figure (no way Jose'). Some "stuff" I
just won't part with.
Those of us who find ourselves in this predicament usually end up getting "stuck", according to the article and I am one of those people. I've become so overwhelmed with "stuff" just the thought of having to go through it, sort it and have another rummage sale just sucks the energy right out of me. There was nothing in the article that was helpful on how to cope with the "stuff" once you get it. No numbered or bullet list of motivating ideas to help kick start me, aside from having someone give me swift kick in the A## (my own brilliant idea).
I'm open to suggestion at this point. I did find myself downstairs a few days ago. I went through three boxes. OK, there's a start, on average that's one box per month. Not so overwhelming. If I went through one box a month, I might have it finished in a year or so. My kids will kill me if I die and leave them with this mess!
Peace
Liz
I couldn't let the day go by without saying something about my own Father. He passed away in 2005 and being a "Daddy's" girl, it was very difficult and occasionally still is. The Father's day before he passed away, I honored him with a poem. I worked very hard on that poem, he was an Architectural Engineer for John Deere & Co. and to make it special, I researched architectural terms and their meanings to incorporate them into the poem. Unfortunately, he didn't live to see it published, or the award won for it.
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