Baby Gates and Peach Yogurt are Essential!

I had the pleasure of watching my two youngest Grandsons last night and though they ran me ragged, I enjoyed every second of it, even if I had to sweep the kitchen floor twice and vacuum the living room twice. I understand now, the need for baby gates.

I cleaned the floors before they arrived so they could crawl and play on them. They love to lay on the floor and play with cars and trucks, Daddy is a Diesel Mechanic and for being 12 months and almost 3 years old, they make all the appropriate sound effects. Geffory the "almost" 3 year old, can lay on the floor in one spot and roll his truck back and forth making engine noise, for very extended periods of time..for his age.

Now, my house is tiny and one would think that it would be an easy task to watch two little rambunctious boys, both in diapers, in the tiny house. I have new found respect for Mom and her small three bedroom apartment with three baby gates "what would she need all those baby gates for?"

Before they tore up the tiny house, I thought I would take them to the park and wear them out. It was a good idea at the time. It was a short walk and I carried Joseph on my shoulders and Geffory followed beside me. When we arrived, I first tried the swings, that lasted all of two seconds before Geffory wanted out and to run. I took Joseph down the slide once (that was enough for me) and then we opted to discover all the life in the grass while Geffory practiced throwing sand and climbing up and down stairs.

I deliberately left my camera behind, not wanting the bulky thing hindering me and not wanting passerby's to see it as there have been a string of house robberies around the neighborhood recently. I regretted it immediately. Joseph sat in the grass playing with dandelions, grass, sticks, rocks..etc, all going into the mouth. I grabbed my camera phone and thought its better than nothing.

When Geffory was Joseph's age I managed to snap a few pictures of him playing in the grass at his older brother's baseball game and one of them ended up winning a "cutest baby" contest that was being held by our local Hy-Vee grocery store. I think I captured the next "cutest baby contest" photo of Joseph, holding out a dandelion to Grandma. For a camera phone, it wasn't half bad.

I had to bribe Geffory to go back to the house to eat dinner with the anticipation of a treat after wards. While I tried to cook dinner the two boys roamed the only two rooms they had access to, the kitchen and the living room, how much trouble could they get into? I brought out the laundry basket of toys and put it in the kitchen, thinking they would play in the kitchen while I cooked. What was I thinking?

Loud noises and screams kept me running back and forth from room to room. The cars they play with that are kept under the T.V. went untouched. Instead it was the dirt in the plants, the books on the bookshelves, everything on the coffee table (being banged against the coffee table), Joseph trying out his new teeth on his brother. I was grateful when I'd finished preparing their dinners, thinking I'd get a break...Not!

I gave Geffory his plate and put Joseph in the highchair with part of his dinner (the rest required I feed him) I thought this would give me time to prepare my own dinner..Ha! Joseph scarfed down everything I gave him before I was finished. Other than the occasional "eat over your plate" directed at Geffory, he was fine on his own. Joseph barely gave me a chance to eat my own dinner but when all was said and done they finished everything and I had to come up with a treat.

For Geffory, a bowl of watermelon chunks left over from our Mother's Day barbecue and I already knew Joseph loved peach yogurt. Geffory wasn't that thrilled with the watermelon and only ate a few pieces, by then Joseph was tired of the yogurt (the first time I gave it to him he acted like it was the bomb).

I don't like to waste food so I switched and gave Joseph the watermelon and gave Geffory the yogurt. One wouldn't think a small .44 cent, generic container of peach yogurt would get a child so excited. Geffory looks like he's having a seizure when he gets excited and the yogurt was seizure inducing. Joseph ate the rest of the watermelon and wanted more so I went back to the yogurt and between the two of them, they finished it off.

By now, I had already learned that cleanup from dinner would have to wait, the pile of dirt I found on the living room floor could not. I washed their hands and set them free, vacuumed up the dirt and chased them from room to room wishing I had at least one baby gate. Though my daughter is always on the run, feeding them McDonald's Fish sandwiches and fries frequently, I thought about the yogurt and how cheap and easily it pleased the boys and wondered why more parents didn't feed their kids healthier snacks, they love it, especially the fruit and to think, I almost gave them cookies.

I Am... (create your own "I Am" poem)

I am consequential, catching

I wonder about the other 90 percent of my brain
I hear my thoughts screaming to be found
I see the good in everyone
I want an external hard drive
I am consequential, catching

I pretend to be productive
I feel success
I touch emptiness
I worry about my offspring and my significant other
I cry at happy endings
I am consequential, catching

I understand no one is perfect
I say everything happens for a reason
I dream of being lost in the forest
I try to be productive
I hope to see it through the trees
I am consequential, catching

Create your own "I Am" poem here

When you're you're done, share it in my comments.

Peace
Liz

Remembering Mom

Mother's Day for me will consist of visiting the cemetery. I haven't been in a while and feel as though I've been neglecting my parents. I don't get upset or cry on Mother's Day, my Mom and I weren't the close pair that I am with my own daughter. Although I did call her almost daily to vent and she was a good one to vent to. She never had an opinion, she would just respond "that's interesting", whether it was trivial or tragedy, she was a good listener.

Years before she died, my parents would snow-bird to Englewood, Florida. With each visit they would leave earlier in the fall and come back later in the spring. I wasn't able to call or drop in as often, so we seemed to drift apart before she passed on. When they were in town I would forget they were so close. I became accustomed to them not being here.

When they returned from Englewood for the last time and Dad had a heart attack unloading the motor home, ending up in the hospital having a triple-bypass, Mom ended up in a nursing home. My Dad had kept her decline a secret and when she called and asked if I would come over to spend the night because she didn't want to be alone, I learned, she "couldn't" be left alone. I stayed a week with her until I found a decent nursing home. (Nursing home shopping is a terrible task). From that day on, I visited her every day and prepared her for bed every night.

Dad's recovery was slow, ending up in intensive care twice. They released him to the same nursing home where he shared a room with Mom. I remember coming down the hall to visit and could hear them bickering as was their custom. After his release, Dad wouldn't visit with the same regularity, I was still up there nightly and on the weekends, sometimes twice a day. I think the only time I missed putting her to bed was when I took a weekend to go to Chicago for a NASCAR race and I felt like the parent, worrying and calling often to check on her.

Mom and I became closer during her time in the nursing home. Although she wasn't all there upstairs, she was more open and inquisitive; almost child like. It seems when she was in Florida the last time, she ended up in the hospital on Thanksgiving. Mom had Emphysema, congestive heart failure and COPD. While in the hospital they cranked up her oxygen to 6 liters and no one explained to her or my Dad that it shouldn't be that high for very long and it poisoned her. It was always a constant battle there after, with the nurses and CNAs, to keep her oxygen turned down.

We spent evenings talking about death (she was anxious to go) and the strange things that she would see. Often she would see butterflies and comment on how beautiful they were. Butterflies became an icon and a symbol of her, we hung them everywhere in her room. Dead relatives would visit, having a party in her room and she would say "next time they come, I'm going with them". She had always been an anxiety ridden person but her condition exacerbated it and I was sometimes called upon by nursing home staff to come calm her down. My Dad wouldn't listen to her ramblings, he didn't believe in such things.

I enjoyed spending time with her there, I would giver her manicures, paint her nails, brush her hair; dote on her. We would sometimes reserve the conference room and have my family up for a Chinese dinner, her favorite. Her roommate was usually included in our gatherings. I got to know many of the other residents, some of which I had never seen a visitor come.

January 30th was our last Chinese Dinner in the conference room. At the end of the meal, my Moms favorite ritual was opening the fortune cookie. This night her fortune read "You are about to depart on a long awaited journey". My mom was beside herself with excitement. "Does this mean what I think it means?" She asked. My Dad ignored the question, thinking it to be non-sense or "hog wash" (his favorite term). All I could say was "I don't know".

Early the next morning Mom ended up having to go to the emergency room, she was bleeding internally. The Doctor said they could do surgery but it would be very strenuous on her body. My Mom, for the first time in a very long time was calm and insisted there would be no surgery, she wanted to go back to the nursing home.

I pulled the Dr. out into the hallway and questioned him as to how much time she would have if she didn't have surgery. "At the most, three days" he estimated and Mom went back to the nursing home. After settling her in, I returned home. Shortly after, I received a call from one of the nurses, Mom was having a panic attack.

After spending some time with her I realized that "this was 'it'". I asked her who she would like with her; she wanted everyone there. I called my family, my daughter and son, husband and Father. Once she learned Dad was on the way she relaxed and calmly fell asleep. When the last person arrived in her room, Mom went peacefully.

On January 30th, every year, we celebrate Mom's life and "The last supper" by gathering at a Chinese restaurant. Dad's no longer here either and it is my responsibility to carry on the tradition. However with my life having been in personal turmoil for a while, I forgot a couple times but as fate would have it, my son and I found ourselves having Chinese one day and realized it was January 30th. At another gathering we ran into my cousin and her partner sharing dinner at my Mom's favorite restaurant (I don't believe in coincidence).

I locked myself in my room, determined to write a poem for her funeral (neither of my parents were aware of my poetry passion) and the following is the result and also the poem that brought me out of the closet.

Happy Mother's Day Mom and Thank you,

Upon Wings

My image a canvas
painted by time,
weary and tired
I've left it behind.

Upon wings of a butterfly
my essence now rides,
dancing on breezes
as they pass by.

You'll see me sometimes
on warm summer days
Among Poppies and Asters
You can watch me play.

Refrain from your sorrow,
you mustn't weep
for sweet nectar
I now shall eat.

Let us not say goodbye,
not bid thee farewell,
I'll be in the garden
just resting a spell.

(unfortunately I was unable to locate a photo of Mom on disc, so fittingly substituted photos I've taken of Butterflies)

Peace
Liz

Reflections of the Unemployed Week 8-9

Obviously I'm busy these days, I've discovered "Blogging", about other things besides myself; Serious matters of Swine Flu and other issues in the news. I think I've applied for every possible job that I'm qualified for and then some. The ads are becoming sparse and I applied for one last week and one this week. In an article in "Carrealism" our skills are "outdated, our experience doesn’t apply and we don’t fit the company culture…welcome to the current state-of-affairs in job search". On the flip side of the coin, "employers standards are too high".

In light of the current state of affairs, rather than becoming discouraged, I've thought of it as a time of discovery. I accompanied my Son to his appointment at our local community college to assist him with filling out Scholarship paperwork and testing. I joined him in taking the "CDM" or Career Decision Making survey. As a Poet, I know I'm not going to make a living but I realized there are other careers out there that I could be considering, one of them being Journalism, or Photo Journalism. As long as I'm being creative, I'm content. Unfortunately, there isn't much demand for writers when I search the local job databases but I have confidence that with the internet available, the possibilities are there.

Neil has been wonderfully supportive in my current endeavors and I am considering going back to school. Not only is there Scholarship funds out there for my son, thanks to President Obama, but he is also eligible for extra funds because I haven't completed a college degree program. The concept behind that is for children to be the first of families to obtain a college education. In addition to the new funds that are being offered for students and funds already available for single moms but add a new catagory to that; Parents that have been displaced from their jobs. So in light of that news, college is more attainable and a very distinct possiblity for me.

The last two weeks of unemployment I have been stretching my wings and expanding my writing to include more than just Poetry and what began as something resembling "public journalism". I've been receiving a lot of traffic on this blog and it is exciting, however I've not had much feedback. I encourage those who are reading my blogs to comment, even constructive criticism is welcome.

Peace
Liz

Web sites of interest for this blog:

College Zone
http://il.gov/learning/
CAREEREALISM

Laurie Garrett Puts our Minds at Ease on Colbert'

In a previous post I mentioned the H5N1 virus. I noticed it referred to in a "Google" ad as the "Swine Flu". I questioned it and noted to myself I should do some research on it. I have been so busy that I didn't get a chance to before I saw the following interview with Laurie Garrett who currently has an article in "Newsweek" entitled "Fear & The Flu" and is referred to as a "Global Health Expert".

The Swine Flu "is just a really bad rotten case of flu" Laurie states. She revealed that the H5N1 is the "Avian Bird Flu" and is much more serious than the "Swine Flu" or H1N1. According to WHO, The World Health Organization and their most recent statistics, there is not 1 confirmed case in the last seven years on our North American or South American Continent as shown in the chart below, so for Heavens sake, lets not panic over "Bird Flu" either:

Cumulative Number of Confirmed Human Cases of Avian Influenza A/(H5N1) Reported to WHO

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First American death cited "with" Swine Flu

In this morning's news, was an article by Christoper Sherman, pertaining to the death of Judy Trunnell, a 33-year-old schoolteacher. In an effort to avoid panic I just want to reiterate that "according to the State health department in Texas, spokeswoman Carrie Williams said the schoolteacher had "chronic underlying health conditions" but wouldn't give any more details".

According to her Doctor., Judy had been hospitalized since April 14th and the hospital was well aware she had the flu at the time. "The area is undergoing a Type A influenza epidemic right now, and swine flu is one variety of that, he said. She was confirmed to have swine flu shortly before she died, he said".

The article also remembered "The only other swine flu death in the U.S. was that of a Mexico City toddler who also had other health problems. He died last week at a Houston children's hospital."

I don't want to downplay the tragedy of the two deaths, however keep in mind that they both had underlying conditions and as with any flu under those circumstances, can be deadly. Swine flu is just a strain of our Influenza A which is not even the most common strain of flu but comes in at close second under Influenza B.

For the entire article visit the Quad City Times

Peace
Liz