Reflections of the Unemployed Week 3

I've managed to get nearly everything moved out of the River house, all that remains is my tractor and a few other things that require a truck. Now, I've moved 5 times in the last two and a half years and NEVER have had EVERYTHING moved out of the River house so this is a BIG deal.

Everything has come full circle. I left the river in 2006 and took the job that fired me as a stepping stone, not expecting to stay there. I was there for nearly three years. The entire time my life was in limbo, not moving anywhere, moving back and forth from my apartment to the river several times. This time I think I've finally moved out of that stagnant phase of my life. I'm finally getting closure on that chapter; house, job, divorce and writing a new one. The page is fresh and clean. So I'm looking at it from a more positive perspective.

I've added a new skill to my resume' and although I said I'd never go back to working in a call center, I'm reconsidering. I was good at what I did and enjoyed it. I know there are better call centers out there that would appreciate my skills. But then again, I could go in a different direction, try something completely different, the possibilities are endless and with the economy the way it is right now I don't think I'm going to let any door remain closed.

I've made some great friends at G.O. and I know that some of them will be around for a very long time; something I never had before. Some other great things that happened while I was at G.O. was saying goodbye to that extreme shyness. I really came out of my shell and I could be myself which I hope to never lose. Taking escalation calls from very angry people desensitized me from conflict and I believe it nearly cured my P.T.S.D. I've come a long way baby!

As I always say "something good always comes from the bad" and "when one door closes another door opens".

Peace
Liz

Reflections of the Unemployed Week 2

Well, when you think things just couldn't get any worse, they do. As some of you already know, the house on the river was facing foreclosure. Several days after I was fired the news came...they re-modified the loan. Actually all they did was tack on all the past due payments for an even bigger payment. Of course my charming x-husband called to ask me what I was going to do about my 1/2 of the payment before even mentioning they re-modified. I'm thinking "what house payment?" "wtf".

Now during all this time the house has been flooded, not so bad inside, nothing damaged as I put everything on cinder blocks before leaving. The mail not having been delivered for a week, I just got word from unemployment today that due to the circumstances, I might not be eligible. So my dream of saving the house has become a pipe dream and I have to move out and now I hope it will be sold. I've been encountering one obstacle after another.

Today, I received a call from human resources from my former company, telling me that my insurance ended the day after my termination. I filled my prescriptions right away but now they are giving me a hard time over the antidepressant and I've still not gotten that and am almost out and sadly those pills are a year old but at least they are working, otherwise I might not be able to cope with it all.

I've applied for at least a dozen jobs last week and haven't even had to leave the house. I'm beginning to wonder if online job applications are really the way to go. I know I'm well qualified for all of them but they don't get to see me or get a glimpse of my personality. I know it was just last week but so far I've not received a call and under the circumstances, I'm impatient.

I can imagine all around the country and here in the Quad Cities, how many people are facing the same situation as myself. There are probably people in worse situations than me. I went to the unemployment office just today to drop off copies of pay stubs from an entire quarter of earnings my company failed to report. They made me take a number; 52, they were on 25. They've even extended their hours for being able to call in and "certify" your earnings every two weeks. When I tried calling today it was busy most of the day. How sad is that? And every time I tried, that's one minute against my phone minutes I've had to decrease. They tell me it will take 4 to 6 more weeks before I'll know if I even get unemployment and from what I learned today, they are sending files to other offices to help out because its so bad here in the QC and my file happens to be one that is going to be shipped off to another office.

It's not easy getting used to really cutting corners. I feel silly not answering my phone and waiting to listen to the messages until after 7:00pm but that's what the economy is coming to; having to track your phone minutes, worrying about how to pay for much needed prescriptions, making your grocery list consist of milk, bread and peanut butter and jelly. You wonder if coffee is even a necessity.

But I have to say I am blessed with great friends and family. I've had my daughter and two former boyfriends all offer me a roof over my head. Friends who have offered to help me if I needed anything. I am grateful, but I know there are people who are in the same situation as myself and they have nobody to turn to. I am counting my blessings and am sad for those who have no where to turn. I envision whats going to become of many of them, and the homelessness everywhere is going to increase. Its unbearable to think about it and to think; "it could be me".

Peace
Liz

Pet Peeve

I have a pet peeve when people have to remind you of your obligations, as if you didn't remember you had them. Its like being reminded not to use a metal spoon in the non-stick pans. I'm an adult, I have common sense. I am fully aware of my situation and that I have obligations (and can't make them). Its one thing to be reminded of something trivial and as if you were a child but to take a persons lowest vulnerable point, rub it in their face like you weren't aware of the fact yourself is downright low!

Its like being noogied on the head and them saying "McFly!" Gives a person an intelligence complex. Pretty soon you feel like everyone is "McFlying" you. But you know who the ignorant one was? Biff!

I think the world is divided into two groups; the Biffs and the McFlys. Unfortunately the brightest of brights have insecurities and feel like McFlys, the rest are bullies, if not by nature but by programings; overcompensation of thier own shortcomings.

But I think its possible the their can be oddities, those who are both Biffs and McFly's. What am I, What are you?

(that kind of went off into a strange tangent..lol)

Peace
Liz

disclaimer; Liz cannot be held responsible for the statements above as she morphed into someone else in the middle of the bloging process.

Reflections of the Unemployed Week 1

I saw in the news that Deere is laying off more people now, its no wonder its going to take 6 to 8 weeks to see my first unemployment check, they are probably overloaded. I'm now a statistic of the depressed economy and depressed myself. And what I'll be bringing home won't even be half my normal salary.

I'm bored to tears, there are only so many jobs online to apply for, only so many jobs in the paper. Its too cold for a yard sale and overwhelming to think about going through my storage unit to get ready for one. I've begun selling my belongings, my telescope is now a victim of my tragedy, what next?

The house I'm living in is facing foreclosure, I live with my x-husband and his girlfriend and he too is unemployed. (I live downstairs, its like a duplex) Strange to say the least but my intentions were pure, I moved in to help save the house but by the time I moved, it seems it was too late. And now I'm in the same boat.

I truly believe I was let go because of medical issues, which I believe are unfair labor practices. There are many more people I worked with that had worse attendance than myself but personal problems don't drive up the insurance rates. I had a Dr.excuse for nearly every absence (8 points in the last 6 months, however 1 point was for medical leave because I had surgery) I guess I'm one of those people who are making health care more expensive.

A friend of mine was also let go from the same company just as he was filing for intermittent medical leave for his diabetes, he had just been in the hospital twice. After he was let go the Dr. told him he couldn't work and so I supported him for 6 months while he waited for his social security.

What gives with this Country? Where has the morality gone? Don't the big corporations understand that its the little guys that are the backbone of their business, the backbone of the Country? When we are doing good, they are doing good. I'm out there trying to work, I was working hard to keep my job. I want to support myself, its a matter of pride.

"Pride", there doesn't seem to be much of that going around at the moment.

Peace
Liz

Baggage

I packed my bags and left
upon my return i was unaware
of what I actually packed
and carried with me there

and back again. Still
nothing has changed
I remain unfaltering
at the same interchange.

The road has ended
and appears endless.
the horizon pitch black,
weighted by the heavy sack.

©2009